


A Casanova and a Grade-A Douche

by dontbecooler



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, M/M, Texting, how do i put this..., steve is an ass, there isn't any kissing and making up in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecooler/pseuds/dontbecooler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thin walls and loud sex don't mix. Neither do Steve and Bucky it seems...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Casanova and a Grade-A Douche

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually happy how this turned out! Not the usual it gets all cute, but somewhat (somewhat) realistic.  
> While I did finish and talk to the other person, they did not have any social media I could put to her Bucky, so she gave me pseudonym 'Kate' to use :)
> 
> So  
> Kate was James  
> and I was Steve
> 
> ENJOY

Look, you don't know me, but I'm pretty sure I've heard your name enough to last me a lifetime. Either get quieter dames to have sex with or pay for thicker walls. I'm sick of trying to study with you in the background. SR

 

**Look at that, what a nice text. Sorry to break it to you, pal, but I'm too poor to pay for thicker walls. And I'm gonna be the last one to tell someone how loud or how quiet to be. Sorry for the inconvenience. JB**

 

Right... I have two months left at this place, then my course is over and I'm going home. Is it too hard to ask you to keep it in your pants for that long? SR

 

**For two months? Are you kidding? What's in it for me? JB**

 

I won't harass you. SR

I won't file a formal complaint. SR

 

**A complaint? Are you serious? JB**

 

Completely. I'm nearing the end of everything and my final piece needs to be perfect. SR

 

**And you think you're the only one who needs to get stuff done. Right. JB**

 

You sleeping your way through campus is on your course guide line then? SR

 

**Ever heard of stress relief? JB**

 

Doesn't really seem like you're doing anything to get stressed about. SR

 

**And you know that. What's your major, clairvoyance? JB**

 

I'm taking a Doctorate for Art. SR

 

**Could've fooled me. JB**

 

What are you taking then? SR

 

**Currently? Your complaints. JB**

 

Ha ha ha, so you're a comedian as well as a Casanova. Well done. SR

 

**Thank you, I try, I really do. JB**

 

No seriously. What do you do that gets you so stressed you need to sex it out? I'm eager to see if you're actually all you talk yourself up to be. SR

 

**Engineering and Russian history. Didn't know you had to comply with requirements to be allowed to sex about the place, but hey, I guess you learn something new every day. JB**

 

Sounds complicated. I wouldn't think you'd have the time. Unless your bouts of passion don't last very long. I can't remember, do they? SR

**Smarty-pants and sweetheart. Look at you pulling out all the stops. Is that a special talent of yours? JB**

 

I like to think I'm an all rounder. SR

 

**Looks like you're doing good. JB**

 

Doing well is the correct way of saying it. But thanks. SR

So do we have a deal? SR

 

**What kind of deal was that again? Help me out here. JB**

 

You keep it down for two months, or just do what you do quietly, and then after two months I leave you be forever and ever and we never have to talk again. SR

**Or. JB**

**You just get yourself some earplugs and be done with it. That should work just as well. JB**

 

I don't work very well with ear plugs. Surely two months of abstinence wouldn't be too hard. SR

 

**Speak for yourself. JB**

 

What's that supposed to mean? SR

 

**Nothing. Nothing at all. JB**

 

If you're referencing the fact that I don't have sex, I don't think it's too much of your business. SR

 

**Oh, but me having sex is yours. I see how that works. JB**

 

My lack of a sex life doesn't interrupt your education. SR

 

**But my lack of a sex life would interrupt it, so there ya go. JB**

 

You need sex to learn? SR

 

**Sweet baby Jesus. Just get some earplugs or something and we're good. JB**

 

What if you went to their rooms instead of them coming to yours? SR

 

**Then I would have to go home afterwards. JB**

 

But you would be quiet. SR

 

**Which would suck really bad. JB**

 

But you'd have had your sex. And it's only for two stupid months. SR

 

**You're so persistent. What's your deal? Is your secondhand boner distracting you or what? JB**

 

I don't get turned on by what I over hear. SR

 

**Then what's the problem? JB**

 

Okay maybe. It's hard to paint when you're in the back ground, I've already told you. SR

 

**And I've just presented you with the magic solution. JB**

 

I can't paint with ear plugs. SR

 

**Are you painting with your eardrum or what? JB**

 

It wrecks the flow. You wouldn't know because you don't do it. Why are you so persistent? Are you unable to have hand jobs for two months? Is it really that hard? SR

 

**Right now it isn't, no. JB**

 

That's terrible and pointless. SR

 

**I'm glad you finally agree with me. JB**

 

Oh wow. Thanks. You know, I'm so happy I never have to run into you in the hallway. You're a grade A douche. SR

 

**You say that like you're any better, pal. I'm touched. Right back at ya. JB**

 

All I'm trying to is get my Doctorate over! I need full marks or everything goes to shit! Please! SR

 

**Do you have to be a rude ass punk over your little misery? JB**

 

I thought my first text was quite polite, and looking back it may have been slightly brash, and for that I apologize, but it's justified don't you think? SR

 

**No, I don't think it's justified. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a grade A douche who can't keep it in his pants, don't mind me. JB**

 

Fine. Okay. What do you propose? A compromise, that doesn't involve ear plugs or you not getting your sex. SR

 

**I propose nothing. Good luck with your Doctorate without me in the background. Next time maybe just actually ask and use a little please. JB**

 

What? No, I'm- shit. Okay. Let me try to figure this out. SR

 

**What's there to figure out? JB**

 

I feel bad. SR

 

**You should. JB**

 

I'm sorry. SR

Shit. SR

 

**What now? JB**

 

Uh... I don't know. SR

 

**Smart one, aren't ya. JB**

 

I still want peace and quiet, you still want to sleep with everyone as loudly as possible, but I don't want you to be mad at me because you seem like a decent guy. SR

Despite everything. SR

 

**You just called me a grade A douche! JB**

 

Because I was annoyed. But I didn't stop texting you did I? SR

**Is that supposed to mean something? I don't know what kind of stuff you're into, maybe you get off on that. JB**

 

I could have filed a complaint. SR

**Go right ahead, pal. JB**

 

But... You're so frustrating! Oh my god. SR

**How the hell am I the frustrating one here? I told you about ten minutes ago that you get your peace and quiet! JB**

 

But... You said it all grumpy. And it wasn't a compromise where we were both happy. SR

**Big surprise, I AM grumpy. You didn't ask for everyone to be happy, you asked for me to shut up. JB**

 

I may have gone about this the wrong way. SR

**You may have. JB**

 

I'm not very elegant I'm sorry. SR

**Yeah, yeah. Forgive and forget, or whatever they say. JB**

 

So. What do we do? SR

**You work on your Doctorate or annoy other people and I'm not distracting you anymore. JB**

 

So you're getting yourself a chastity belt or...? SR

**Sorry, pal. I'm not into that sort of thing. JB**

 

So you're working on keeping yourself under control then? SR

**No, I'm working on not being around then. JB**

 

You're leaving? SR

**You scared? JB**

 

I'm worried I am the cause of you abandons your studies. Unless you're just going to move rooms. SR

**You weren't so worried about my studies before. Not sure you even believed me, gotta tell you. JB**

 

I... Well the fact that it’s in jeopardy I definitely am. I'm no education ruiner. SR

**But what if you are though? JB**

 

Don’t be stupid. What would your Mother say? SR

**What has my Ma to do with you ruining my education? JB**

 

I never asked you to abandon it. I asked you to quieten down. That's all. You know, people can have sex quietly you know. SR

 

**Yeah, I've heard. JB**

**And I just said you get what you want. JB**

**Multiple times now. JB**

 

You wanted an excuse to leave? SR

**No, why would I want an excuse to leave? If I wanna leave, I leave. I don't need excuses for that. JB**

 

Wait... So what's going on? Are you leaving or not? SR

**I'm not going anywhere. My room is my room and a punk like you ain't gonna change that. JB**

 

Okay. Good. SR

That's good. SR

**You're keeping your clean record, don't you worry. JB**

 

I appreciate it. SR

**Sure you do. JB**

 

Is that sarcasm? SR

**Yes. Perceptive. JB**

 

Thanks. I like to think of myself as an all rounder. SR

**Told ya, you're doing good. JB**

 

Alright. Well. We'll finish on this note yeah? You're not as bad as I thought, I'm the grade A douche, and in two months we won't have any chance of seeing each other ever again. SR

**That sounds about right, yeah. JB**

 

So it's a deal then? SR

 

**Maybe it was too soon calling you a smart one. JB**

**Yes yes yes, we got a deal. JB**

 

Alright. SR

I won't be seeing you then. SR

Or hearing you. SR

**Right back at you. JB**


End file.
